


Turnabout Cupcake

by SkaianRedeemer



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Semi-Interactive
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-07-22
Updated: 2012-06-05
Packaged: 2017-10-21 15:36:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/226778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkaianRedeemer/pseuds/SkaianRedeemer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Help Terezi object her way through liars, contradictions and evidence Ace Attorney-style on the road to finding out who stole her cupcakes!  This noose isn't going to tie itself!</p><p>Dropped: now with notes about what would have happened in the rest of the mystery!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone can enjoy this fic (at least that's the hope!), but for the record it is set the day after the long-coming and still upcoming End of Act 3 of _[A Hand in Holding Hands](http://archiveofourown.org/works/136167)_.
> 
> Because AO3 lacks the forum-luxury of spoiler tags, I'm posting this in multiple chapters and you won't really have the chance to "pick your route" like you do on the forums.
> 
>  _Please_ , this fic is going to be a formatting _nightmare_ , please tell me if you notice any formatting errors. Thanks a lot!

Someone.

_Stole._

_YOUR!_

_CUUUUUUUPCAAAAAAAKES!_

This is an outrage! A scandal! A fist-shaking incident of most epic proportions! Never in your long, storied career as a twisted shiv of justice have you ever been so brazenly countered by those forces you seek to snuff out! Never before has the foul stench of the criminal suborder crawled into your heart of hearts and plucked out something of your own as a slap in the face of your authority! You know what this means. It is time to return to your post. To crawl out of your self-imposed retirement and face the foul face of society head-on! Let the moral dredges of society know that while they may be hidden past the mists of confusion, there is nowhere they can hide from the infinite elastic reach of the gel filled, extendable action figure that is the LAW!

Your name is TEREZI PYROPE and you are on an UNBELIEVABLE POWER TRIP. You feel imbued with the spirit of those AIMLESS RENEGADES that came together to form the iron bands of society, which might explain certain recent turns of phrase. But no matter! No matter your zeal the GUILTY and INNOCENT will be punished appropriately, when not evenly. Your MIND is steady, ready to sniff out EVIDENCE, and you will use that EVIDENCE to shatter the LIES and CONTRADICTIONS of your enemies and bring them JUSTICE until their _feet stop twitching!_

So what was stolen again?

 

  


**Introduction**  
 **  
DAY 62 HOUR 1  
3CTOB1OLOGY L4B  
T4URUS ROOM 10  
**  


The scene of the crime. Your natural element. You feel the pang of injustice but also the allure of the hunt. Also: hunger. You could really go for some sugar-sweet baking coated with a coloured glaze. ...In hindsight, the hunger may be equivalent to the pang of injustice. Best get to work.

You're in a small off-branch of Tavros' section of the ecto lab that serves as home and prison to sixteen bored, hormonal, cabin-feverish TEENAGERS confined by a space-and-time-hopping demon DOGMAN. In a broader sense, your feverish, inebriated juggalo-friend has informed you that you're inside of a branch timeline created by a mad ELDER GOD for some unknown end game. He informed you of this while dribbling sopor out of one corner of his lips and babbling about a two-headed bifurcated goat monster, while chuckling. Thankfully, prosecutor's guidelines already insist on thorough note-taking regardless of the certainty of one's canonicity, so someone who knows nothing about [this timeline](http://archiveofourown.org/works/136167) should probably get along fine.

The room is neatly arranged, with an OVEN in the centre of the northern well surrounded by the usual assortment of BELLS AND SNARES any reasonable person keeps about their dessert foods during preparation. To the south rests a RECOUPERACOON surrounded by chairs and CIRCUS KNICKKNACKS. The recouperacoon contains the happily gurgling half-conscious form of one GAMZEE MAKARA. The exit is to the EAST.

Time to get down to business!

 

**> Terezi: Switch modus to "Court Record".**

Aha! An excellent first move. The Court Record modus ejects any evidence put into it with force and sound violent enough to shatter any argument! The trouble is that you can only get anything out of it if you PRESENT the evidence against a LOGICAL INCONSISTENCY. Also, it becomes very hard to get anything else out of there for any other reason. All the more incentive!

You hook up your SYLLADEX to your glasses, which start to smell of SECRET CODES. These codes appear just under an item's name whenever you add it to your inventory, and just under the heading for every part of a CONFRONTATION. Luckily you can smell the vanilla hidden text no problem, because someone else would have to highlight it to see it. That's kind of hard to do with glasses! How about a test run, in the realm of imagination?

* * *

**\- CONFRONTATION –**  
Tutorial

  


* * *

**[1]**  
1kzyo 054bd z1638 3r307  
AG: I did 8! It was me! Hahahahahahahaha!  
GC: 1 KN3W 1T 4LL 4LONG! 

**[2]**  
24741 3gi1c i477x 0z14s  
AG: 8ut now that you've stum8led on to my pl8ns, I have to...  
AG: uH...  
AG: tEREZI, aRE YOU REALLY ALL THAT WORRIED ABOUT FORGETTING YOUR STUFF?   
GC: 1 COULD G3T RUSTY!  
GC: >:[ YOU WOULDN'T W4NT TH4T WOULD YOU?   
AG: bUT I'M NOT EVEN REALLY VRISKA.   
GC: JUST R3AD YOUR L1NES! 

**[CONCLUSION]**  
That sure is a slippery thief! If only you could prove something she said was a lie. Wait! Didn't she say she wasn't Vriska? But she's clearly Vriska, in every possible way! If only you had some sort of EVIDENCE to prove this CONTRADITION!

Maybe you do? You had better check your hypothetical court record. Of course, this a list of all the evidence you found in your tireless investigation – you can't really expect it to be lying around when you're chasing a real perp!

You think about your interview and realize there's a glaring CONTRADITION to be exposed in one of the BLOCKs of text! To find it, you check out your hypothetical court record (below) and find the evidence that PROVES it! Last, to make sure, you highlight the text in the seemingly-blank gap under the [Number] sign of the block of interrogation you think is suspicious, and then you highlight the text under the evidence's name! If even one of the SECRET CODES match between the EVIDENCE and the BLOCK, than your then your guilty party will be dragged into the boiling sunlight! It'll be fun! Try it, and then check the –RESULTS- section to see how you did.

 

**HYPOTHETICAL COURT RECORD**

_Grubpaste_  
3399m 1qjpg yv5q6 u1f1x  
If you're going to show them off all the time, you might as well use the best! Harvested from the pulpated bodies of your distant younger cousins. Cherry flavoured!

 _1/2 Swordcane of Fafnir [equipped]_  
bi38e 2lwo0 12hem az9px   
The product of a happier time. High power, poor range when unsheathed. Lv. Min 78.

 _Vriska's Stupid Ugly Face_  
g74l5 0z14s m643a 82v73  
You'll never forget that stupid, ugly face, but now you can use it as evidence too! Maybe you could prove that Vriska is Vriska if she says she isn't? That seems like something she'd do. It's good to be prepared. ...Wait, how did this get in here?

 

**\- Results -**

Yeah, what was Vriska thinking, pretending to not be herself when you could just prove she is with her stupid, ugly face? Did you compare the codes? Well here they are just to be sure. You can see the match for yourself!

Block [2]:  
24741 3gi1c i477x 0z14s

Vriska's Stupid Ugly Face:  
g74l5 0z14s m643a 82v73

Of course, there'd be nothing to stop you from just reading on once you're done writing it. But that's why you're solving the case before you write it up, silly! Sheesh. Anyway, it's pretty clear that this case report is only going to be about as fun as you're willing to make it! Better not spoil yourself unless you really have to!

 

Well, that was fun, but you think you've been standing in the middle of the room staring at nothing for long enough. The guilty will have been thrown off your tracks by now. Back to work, slacker!


	2. Investigation: Gamzee's Room

####    
**> Terezi: Fetch your magnifying glass at once!**  


**GAMZEE'S ROOM**

**> Terezi: Examine the scene of the crime.**  
Except for the telling lack of cupcakes, things smell pretty much like you left them, which is intriguing. After all, you've pretty much turned the ground into a deathtrap. The OVEN is surrounded by all sorts of TRAPS: primed, readied and frustratingly unoccupied. The oven as a curious stand-out, the rest of the wall would barely supply a KITCHENETTE, and did not see much use before your impromptu baking experiment. You and the other suspect Tavros' section of the lab was meant to be used for those in quarantine. Appropriate, considering.

 

 **> Terezi: Check the traps.**  
Nope, still empty. These traps have not seen Troll, Human, Underling or even vermin since you first set them down days ago, before you burned your first three batches. You're not sure if they're even working, and so prod one with your cane, to be rewarded with a satisfying _snap-jingle_! You think you'll take this one with you!

 

 _Custom Traps_  
32465 m5x70 6q3a1 8fzz8   
A combination bear trap / sleigh bell emsemble. No one could get past your setup without triggering both or the latter.

 

 **> Terezi: Check your convective cooking contraption.**  
Good, the oven did turn itself off when the timer exhausted. The one you had at home was never so generous. Not an ideal quality for treehouse appliances. The oven is spotless – as it should be considering you had to replace it after the second batch. There are no signs of interference. A quick dusting by your forensic team returns no fingerprints either: neither the shattered-glass prints of your fellow Trolls or the whorls of the Humans. Of course, that's not surprising, considering the oven mitt sitting abandoned on top.

 

 _Oven Mitt_  
5j285 gh52c u14x1 0n1y5   
A copy of a mitt that once belonged to John's Dad before you all duplicated it a few dozen times and removed it from all sentimentality. One of those unfortunate decorative kinds that are so concerned about floral patterns they don't even have pads on their backs. This one's a lefty – the other sort of caught fire with the rest of the old oven.

 

 **> Terezi: Check the inside**  
Your thief made tidy work of the inside of the oven. That is to say, you're fairly sure many of your cohorts don't even know how to use the thing and you're surprised not to half the cupcakes upended inside. Oh well.

 

**> Terezi: Prepare a light snack. **

Absolutely not! But you will check out the kitchenette. The kitchenette is barely stocked enough to serve coffee, and since only one or two of you drink the stuff, you might as well consider it empty. A pot, a shaker full of sugar, some old mugs, and a dashing HAT lie here. More important, as far as you're concerned, that is, is the metal muffin tray lying right in the centre. And without a cooling rack, even! For shame.

 

**> Terezi: Don this fine apparel. **

John gave you this hat because he said it would probably help you stop burning things when you bake! You can't deny that you did stop burning things after you wore it, but you don't really think it _helped_. If anything, this hat is only good for making eggs.

 _Hardboiled_. Get it?

Wait, wait! Hold on. Take one of the trench coats Nepeta gave you when it stopped dragging on the floor, convince your sylladex that trenchcoats are inherently fallible, and...

 

 _Detective Outfit_  
4qq90 9x7d9 58grn p4dhq   
3XC3LL3NT. Compensation: Adequate. H3H3H3H3H3... Okay, now you're for serious ready to solve this case.

 

**> Terezi: Examine the pan of the crime! The scene of the pan! The--**

Okay, okay, don't get hysterical! The muffin pan is empty! That's honestly kind of surprising. Not only did someone break into the room, avoid all your traps and steal your cupcakes, but they meticulously removed them from the tray! You're honestly kind of upset. Twelve carefully prepared cupcakes, soon to be frosted in a wide variety of specific decorator colours?

You had _plans_ for those cupcakes! You were going to make four more and then leave them out in the lab, as a surprise! You couldn't wait to see their faces, the smiles on their lips, and then see who tried to steal more than their fair share. And then you would bludgeon them! It's been a disorganized few months, and you figured it would help if everyone else remembered that Order was helping to hold them up. It had nothing at all to do with your crippling of irrelevance in a world without a functional society on the brink of destruction at demonic hands!

Geeze... that'd be kind of depressing. You're glad someone proved your point so quickly. But someone they had the nerve to break in here and steal them from you directly! This means war!

 

 _Muffin Tray_  
2hs99 0mv0x 7sg05 sz4v0  
A very wide tray with a dozen large cups. Only a few crumbs remain. _Sniff_.

 

**> Terezi: Talk to the hideous clown-man.**

Gamzee's not hideous! He has a surprising inner beauty! Unless you're referring to the stump that used to be his left arm, because, okay, that isn't healing well. You will have to leave another complaint with the management, if they insist on confining him here on a constant diet of pain killers until he's healthy again. Equius could at least hurry it up with the replacement arm.

It's a little depressing, to come in here day for day to see him like this, especially what with him being one of the few you're willing to trust these days. For the sake of full disclosure, though you admit it has about as much legal status as flushed auspistices, the hideous clown-man is... kiiiiind of your current pity-crush. It's a long story, and this is a case report, not your diary. It should suffice to say that the tale is full of betrayal, intrigue, betrayal, abandonment and betray— yeah, okay, it's been a bad perigree. As things go, you're up two allies from nothing. In Gamzee's case, dismemberment and heavy sedatives may have tipped the pity scale just a touch.

But yeah, Gamzee seems grounded enough to talk, if you can stop him from blowing bubbles for a minute or two. You heft him up by the good shoulder, revealing his sopor-spackled bare chest, taut acrobat muscles, and the lingering question of just how much skin he had to have exposed to the _this is a case report, not your diary_ TH1S 1S 4 C4S3 R3PORT, NOT YOUR D14RY! Gog you're slipping. You should have had a case weeks ago! What is _with_ your friends and their rash outbreak of _good behaviour_? You won't stand for it!

You had better start the interrogation.

 

  


**Show Interrogationlog**  


  


* * *

\-- gallowsCallibrator [GC] began grilling terminallyCapricious [TC] –

  


GC: H3Y G4MZ33 >:]  
TC: WhOa rEz i wAs lIkE WhOa aNd tHeN YoU WeRe lIkE WhOa aNd tHeN--  
GC: G4MZ33 1M 1N 4 HURRY  
GC: 4M 1 GO1NG TO H4V3 TO W41T FOR YOU TO D3TOX 4ND STOP QUOT1NG GRUB F1LMS  
TC: NaH ChIkA I'M ChIlL  
GC: that's what I'm afraid of.

[TH3 PROS3CUTR1X TOOK TH1S CL34R OPPORUTN1TY TO TW34K TH3 W1TN3SS' NOS3]

TC: HoNk!   
GC: H3H3H3H3  
GC: W3LL YOUR R3FL3X3S 4R3 OK4Y  
TC: GuEsS So!  
TC: WhAt's uP, wHaT'D I MiSs?   
GC: YOU M1SS3D MY DR4M4T1C ZOOM-OUT SHOUT 4T TH3 ST4RT OF TH3 1NV3ST1G4T1ON 1 GU3SS  
TC: Oh yEaH, i hEaRd tHaT!   
GC: ...   
TC: ...   
GC: ...CUPC4K3S  
TC: ThAt'd bE AWESOME  
GC: ... L3TS M4K3 TH1S F4ST G4MZ33 >:[  


 

####    
**What You Saw**  


  


[TH3 PROS3CUTR1X P4C3S DR4M4T1C4LLY 4BOUT TH3 ROOM T4PP1NG H3R C4N3 1N H3R P4LM]

GC: ...  
GC: G4MZ33 M4K4R4!  
TC: sUp?   
GC: WH3R3 W3R3 YOU 4T TH3 T1M3 OF TH3 TH3FT  
TC: fuck, I was probably right here, I mean when aren't I?   
GC: YOU W3R3NT ON ON3 OF YOUR W4LKS  
TC: NaH, bRa, My sTuMp hUrTs lIkE A MoThErFuCkEr.  
TC: RaThEr kEeP It iN ThE SoPoR F' tHe pAsT FeW DaYs.   
GC: ...   
TC: Y'AlLrIgHt, ChIkA?   
GC: Y34H JUST DONT...  
GC: 4 W1TN3SS SHOULD B3 1N FULL F1TN3SS WH3N ST3PP1NG B3FOR3 TH3 R1GOURS OF TH3 L4W!  
GC: YOU SHOULD B3 CULL3D G4MZ33 M4K4R4 >:]  
TC: CoUlD'Ja dO It qUiEtLy?   
GC: H3H3H3H3H3  
GC: SO YOU D1DNT S33 OR H34R 4NYTH1NG  
TC: NaH, mAn. s' QuIeT As tHe gRaVe hErE.  
TC: HeH. PrObAbLy sHoUlDn't sAy tHaT.   
GC: UH Y34H

 

####    
**Your Condition**  


  
GC: HOWS TH3 4RM W1TN3SS  
TC: SuCkS.   
GC: 4NY WORD FROM JOHN OR 3QU1US  
TC: My STRONG BrO SaYs tHe aRm'lL Be rEaDy iN A WeEk oR So bUt dOc sAyS It mIgHt tAkE LoNgEr.   
GC: >:[ SORRY 1 DONT H4V3 4 CUPC4K3 FOR YOU G4MZ33  
TC: ThA'S OkAy, ChIcKa. i'vE GoT PlEnTy tO EaT RiGhT HeRe.   
GC: G4MZ33 STOP 34T1NG TH3 SOPOR TH1S 1S 4 COURT OF L4W >:]  
TC: It's fIlLiNg, BrA!   


 

####    
**Visitors**  


  
GC: HRM  
GC: 1F YOU D1DNT H34R 4NYON3 SN34K 1N D1D 4NYON3 COM3 TO V1S1T  
TC: My bRo wAs hErE YeStErDaY. HaD A PrEtTy lOnG StOrY To tElL BuT I GuEsS I CoUlDn’t lIsTeN.  
TC: FuCk, ThAt's nOt bEiNg a vErY GoOd mOiRaIl, Is iT?   
GC: T4VROS KNOWS YOUR3 S1CK G4MZ33  
TC: YeAh, I GuEsS.  
TC: Oh, AnD FeF WaS HeRe! wAs hEr tUrN To bRiNg mE LuNcH.  
TC: ShE JuSt tAlKeD AbOuT ThE NoIsE YeStErDaY, tHoUgH.   
GC: W4S SOLLUX W1TH H3R  
TC: I DuNnO, t, It's kInD Of bLuRrY MoRe tHaN A FeW StEpS AwAy sOmEtImEs.   
GC: OH. >:[  
TC: BuT ShE DiD LeAvE ThE DoOr oPeN, sO MaYbE!   
GC: W41T W3R3 TH3S3 B3FOR3 OR 4FT3R 1 C4M3 BY Y3ST3RD4Y  
TC: BeFoRe, ToTaLlY.   
GC: D4RN TH4T M34NS TH3Y WONT B3 1N MY OUTDOOR TR4PS  
GC: BUT TH3Y ST1LL WOULD H4V3 S33N TH4T 1 W4S M4K1NG CUPC4K3S  
GC: V3RRRRRY SUSP1C1OUS  
TC: HaHa, If yOu sAy sO.   


 

####    
**  
MIND GAUGE  
**  


Ohhhhh no! You do not use your MIND powers on Gamzee, _especially_ these days when he's pumped full of Egbert's pain killers on top. Not unless you're willing to end the day wedged nose-first into a drainage grate. You pity him; you don't want to share a wavelength with him!

 

####    
**Interrogation Complete**  


TC: HeY ReZ, tHeRe wAs sOmEtHiNg eLsE I WaNtEd tO SaY.  
TC: BuT I DoN'T ReMeMbEr iT.  
TC: HoNk. >:O(  
GC: TH4TS OK4Y G4MZ33 1LL CH3CK 1N B3FOR3 1 GO JUST 1N C4S3  
GC: >:] 1T M1GHT B3 4N 1MPORT4NT CLU3  
TC: ThAt'd bE AwEsOmE, bRa! sEe yOu tHeN!

 

* * *

**> Terezi: Peruse clowning miscellanea.**

The southern half of the room is full of some of Gamzee's favourite things. It's probably the crush talking but you've realized over time that virtually everything here could be used as a deadly weapon. Fortunately you're just investigating a theft, not a homicide or trollicide. And fortunately Gamzee's not a deranged killer! Boy, that would be so _awkward_!

Gamzee's famed HORN PILE is here, alongside his JUGGLING PINS.

 

**> Terezi: Nap time.**

While the horn pile is surprisingly comfortable, you're kind of on the clock. Still, it's worth checking out, since it'd be an easy place to hide a dozen cupcakes. The only thing you do find disappears into your inventory before you can take a good initial look at it.

 

_Unicycle_  
8e42y au17d nsca8 b6k7z   
Gamzee's favourite unicycle – broken, bashed and dented from a thousand slips and falls. A quick flick of your investigatory fingers tells you Gamzee's so bad at this thing that the wheel barely even turns any more. Wow. That's not even pitiful. That's just sad.

 

**> Terezi: Learn to juggle. **

As much as you'd appreciate a shared interest, there's nothing you can do about Gamzee's clubs without permission from Sirs Grouchypants and Dorkula, respectively. Karkat got pretty pissy about weapons inspection a few days back and decided to crash down on potential sabotage before it even began. Without Vantas _and_ Egbert's say-so, you're sort of stuck. So no touching the clubs!

Thankfully, they look pretty safe, if splattered with sopor. Gamzee must have been trying to juggle in bed.


	3. Investigation: Taurus Hallway

**> Terezi: Go east, young lass. **

**HALLWAY**  


  


**  
DAY 62 HOUR 1  
3CTOB1OLOGY L4B  
T4URUS HALLWAY 1  
**  


About the only thing that defines this lonely hallway from any of the others is that this is the one that opens to the transportalizer. That's why you weren't allowed to TRAP it as well. Well... not really, anyway. After all, who was going to stop you? Tavros? Really? It looks like he's set up to try, at least come morning. His ATTEMPT is still laid out on the side of the hall closest to his bedroom.

 

**> Terezi: Examine trap. **

A light dusting of FLOUR, barely visible in the gloom that pervades most of the laboratory halls, covers the floor. You set it out after you set in the cupcakes the other night. You're careful to walk in your own footprints as you go to avoid messing it any more than you already have.

 

 _Flour Trap_  
oigmv 3xa9j 7pnd0 s65iv   
A light dusting of Human all-purpose flour. The only footprints in it are your own. 

 

**> Terezi: Mock Nitram's counterattack. **

It's not really a counterattack, so much as it is a bottle of CLEANING SPRAY and some PAPER TOWELS. You guess he was planning to clean up after you. Good thing you don't keep normal hours or he'd have destroyed valuable EVIDENCE! You had better collect these before he does!

 

**> Terezi: Clean the cleaners. **

Oh, gross. It looks like Tavros might have not brought these out here for you after all. A used PAPER TOWEL is loosely wedged behind one of the exposed pipes beside the roll. It's covered in sopor - Gamzee must have gone out for a walk before you came to make your trap the night before. By the looks of things, Tavros must have noticed your flour while he was cleaning the more obvious mess and just gave up for the night. Eugh.

Nonono, wait, wait, you're just looking, you don't want to take--!

 

 _Paper Towels_  
j511p 94z2o jp6ae 1pmb2   
Covered in dried, sticky green stains.

 

...You suddenly remember why you hate this modus. 

 

 **> Terezi: Wrap it up here! **  
You've done about all you can for the scene of the crime, in your professional opinion. You had better sniff out Gamzee just in case he really did come up with that piece of info he had forgotten. After that, you'll expand the search, and start to close in on the real culprit! The only person on this asteroid that would want to ruin your little social experiment: SP1D3RTROLL!

Shocking, you know! But it'll be even more shocking when you show up at her door with an iron-clad case! H3H3H3h3h3h3... Better get whatever Gamzee has to say out of the way. The game's afoot!


	4. Confrontation! 1

You return to Gamzee's room.

 

  


**Open interrogationlog**  


  


* * *

TC: HeY T! By tHe wAy, NiCe tHrEaDs!    
GC: >:] TH4NKS!  
GC: TH3Y W3R3 JUST LY1NG 4ROUND   
TC: ThEy mAkE YoU LiKe, Uh... TrOlL HuMpHrEy bOgArT.    
GC: GOOD D1D YOU R3M3MB3R WH4T YOU W3R3 GO1NG TO T3LL M3   
TC: Oh yEaH! I ReMeMbEr iT ClEaRlY!    
GC: F4NT4ST1C   
TC: I DiD It! iT WaS Me!    
GC: ...YOU WH4T   
TC: WeLl i mEaN, i wAs pUtTiNg oN My tHiNkInG CaP GoInG... wHaT WoUlD TrOlL HuMpHrEy bOgArT Do?    
GC: OF COURS3 YOU D1D   
TC: AnD I ThOuGhT, iF I DiDn't sEe aNyOnE Do iT... i mUsT HaVe dId iT!    
GC: ...    
TC: RiGhT? AnD ThEn i rEmEmBeReD DoInG It!    
GC: G4MZ33 YOU 4R3 H1GH 4S _FUCK_ YOU PROB4BLY DONT R3M3MB3R TH3 P4ST TW3LV3 HOURS   
TC: sO? 

  
[TH3 PROS3CUTR1X TOOK TH1S OPPORTUN1TY TO FOR3FULLY 4PPLY H3R P4LM TO H3R F4C3]   


TC: YoU DoN'T ThInK?    
GC: G4MZ33 JUST... _TRY_ TO D3SCR1B3 HOW TH1S M1GHT H4V3 H4PP3N3D 4ND 1LL SHOW YOU TH3 M1ST4K3S 1N YOUR 4RGU3M3NT   
TC: If yOu sAy sO, rEz! 

  


* * *

**\- CONFRONTATION -**  
vs Gamzee

  


* * *

 

**[1]**   
59j07 5iztz 945ec dio83    
  
TC: WeLl iT'S PrEtTy sImPlE, iSn't iT?  
TC: ThE OvEn gOeS OfF AlL "dInG!" AnD I WaKe uP!    


**[2]**   
6299v 22982 9e8s7 d963p    
  
TC: NeXt tHiNg i kNoW, i gEt hUnGrY, bEcAuSe i dOn't sLeEp wItH My mOuTh oPeN.    
GC: NO YOUR3 NOT H1GH 3NOUGH FOR YOU TO H4V3 DON3 TH4T   
TC: TeLl mE AbOuT It!  
TC: So i gEt uP To gEt sOmE GrUb!    


**[3]**   
388ph j35fd zd743 e4p09    
  
TC: ThEn i tIp-tOe pAsT AlL YoUr tOyS...    


**[4]**   
401f3 u14x1 553g1 i6597   
  
TC: AnD GeT A SnAcK, hOt fRoM ThE OvEn!  
TC: BrInG It oVeR HeRe, EaT In bEd, ThEn tAkE It bAcK!  
TC: It's eAsY!    


 

**[Conclusion]**

TC: SeE WhAt i mEaN, bRa?    
GC: Y34H G4MZ33 1 S33 WH4T YOU M34N   
TC: >:oD HoNk HoNk!    
GC: >:] 1 S33 YOUR3 JUST 4S H1GH 4S 3V3R  
GC: YOUR STORYS GOT 4 G4P 1N 1T TH3 S1Z3 OF...  
GC: ...W3LL...  
GC: 4 C3RT41N OTH3R G4P   
TC: ??? 

 

You remember after some rumination that if you're having trouble, you could certainly Press Gamzee for more information on each point. This might even open up new avenues for attack! Either way, you're glad for the Press section. If you were reading this report off of a forum with safe spoiler tags, it would be all that stood between you and accidentally scrolling to the solution!

You make a mental note not to accidentally scroll toward the solution anyway!

 

**Press**

 

**[1]**

GC: G4MZ33 WOULD YOU S4Y YOUR3 4 L1GHT SL33P3R   
TC: I DuNnO BrA, iT'S KiNd oF BaCk-aNd-fOrTh.    
GC: F41R 3NOUGH   
TC: WhAt FoR?    
GC: >;] FUTUR3 R3F3R3NC3   
TC: YeAh, I GuEsS It's nOt cOoL To wAkE A BrO Up jUsT WhEn yOu'rE TiPtOeInG To tHe oVeN.    
GC: >:] G4MZ33 YOUR3 NO FUN 4T 4LL

**[2]**

GC: BUT YOUR3 NOT HUNGRY R1GHT NOW   
TC: NaW. I GoT A StRaW In hErE WiTh mE.    
GC: OF COURS3 YOU DO  
GC: YOU H4V3 4NY TROUBL3 G3TT1NG UP   
TC: No WaY! i jUsT GiVe mYsElF A PuSh! 

  
[TH3 W1TN3SS T4PS TH3 S1D3 OF H1S R3COUP3R4COON W1TH H1S H4ND.]   


**[3]**

GC: YOU S3R1OUSLY JUST W4LK THROUGH MY TR4PS   
TC: YeAh, I Do iT AlL ThE FuCkIn' TiMe sInCe yOu sEt tHeM Up!  
TC: HiT A BeLl oNcE AnD AlMoSt sCaReD MySeLf aWaKe bUt hEy, No pRoB.    
GC: WH4T D1D YOU W4NT W1TH TH3 OV3N TH4T YOU W3R3 W4LK1NG TH3R3 H4LF 4SL33P   
TC: OvEn? i jUsT WaNtEd a cOfFeE!  
TC: GoNnA AsK My bRo tO MoVe tHe sTaNd wHeN YoU'Re dOnE WiTh yOuR StUfF, i tHiNk.   
GC: >:S TH4T M1GHT B3 4 GOOD 1D34

**[4]**

GC: 1 SUPPOS3 1T 1S PR3TTY 34SY   
TC: WhAt dId i sAy >:o)?    
GC: ... 34SY TO BR34K TH1S T3ST1MONY 1NTO 4 THOUS4ND P13C3S!  
GC: >:]

 

You make doubly sure that you've checked your EVIDENCE and matched it up to the suspicious BLOCK of testimony, before you go for broke with your best...

* * *

  
**  
OBJ3CT1ON!  
**  


  


* * *

TC: >:oO  
TC: WhOa.

  
[TH3 D3F3ND4NT P1CKS TH3 3J3CT3D 3V1D3NC3 OFF OF H1S F4C3]   


GC: G4MZ33 M4K4R4  
GC: C4N 1 S33 YOUR H4ND 4G41N  
GC: JUST TO B3 SUR3   
TC: SuRe ReZ, WhAtEvEr yOu wAnT If yOu'rE GoNnA PaCk tHoSe kInDs oF LuNgS! 

  
[4S 1MPL13D BY H1S US3 OF 1T TO G3T OUT OF H1S R3COUP3R4COON TH3 W1TN3SS R1GHT H4ND 1S 1N P3RF3CT SH4P3]   


GC: SORRY G4MZ33 BUT TH4T CL1NCH3S 1T  
GC: YOU COULDNT H4V3 STOL3N MY CUPC4K3S   
TC: WhAt dO YoU MeAn, BrA?    
GC: L1K3 YOU S41D  
GC: 1TS 34SY  
GC: YOU S41D YOU TOOK TH3 CUPC4K3S STR41GHT OUT OF TH3 OV3N  
GC: ON 4 M3T4L TR4Y   
TC: ! wElL I PrObAbLy uSeD An--   
GC: OV3N M1TT?  
GC: TH4TD B3 1MPR3SS1VE  
GC: 3V3N 1F YOU W3R3 CL34R-H34D3D 3NOUGH TO DO 1T YOU COULDNT H4V3  
GC: TH1S M1TT 1S FOR TH3 L3FT H4ND...  
GC: _BUT YOU DONT_ H4V3 _4 L3FT H4ND 4NY MOR3!_   
TC: !! 

  
[TH3 W1TN3SS R3TR34T3D 1NTO H1S SOPOR B4TH. TH3 PROS3CUT1ON W4S FORC3D TO R3TR13V3 H1M]   


Congratulations, Terezi Pyrope, you think to yourself. A handedness puzzle. You have truly reached the lofty heights of Troll Nancy Drew's Junior Mysteries.

Uh oh. Hold on. It looks like he's not done. You had better be careful how you scroll through this report. You might have to present more EVIDENCE at a moment's notice and you wouldn't want to spoil yourself! If you do, you'll want to find your evidence and compare its codes to the codes hidden under the words "TAKE THAT!"

 

TC: HoLd oN, rEz?    
GC: G4MZ33   
TC: WeLl, I WaS JuSt tHiNkInG...    
GC: UGH G4MZ33 DONT  
GC: 1M TRY1NG TO PROV3 YOU 1NNOC3NT DO YOU H4V3 4NY 1D34 HOW H4RD TH1S 1S FOR M3 >:[  
GC: W3 BOTH KNOW V3RY W3LL WHOS R3SPONS1BL3 FOR TH1S 4ND 1TS NOT YOU   
TC: ...iS It eR--   
GC: 1TS VR1SK4   
TC: Oh yEaH!    
GC: OH Y34H WH4T  
GC: D1D YOU S33 H3R   
TC: No wAy, MaN! I JuSt rEmEmBeReD WhAt wAs wRoNg wItH ThAt tHiNg!  
TC: ThAt tHiNg yOu jUsT SaId aBoUt tHe oVeN MiTt?    
GC: 3H?    
TC: It's eAsY, iSn't iT? I'd JuSt hAvE tO PuT It oN BaCkWaRdS!    
GC: YOU  
GC: YOU WH4T   
TC: SuRe! i mEaN, i wOuLdN'T Be aBlE To sTiCk mY ThUmB In iT BuT It'd sTiLl bE HeAt pRoTeCtEd.  
TC: RiGhT?    
GC: G4MZ33...  
GC: 4R3 YOU S4Y1NG YOU GOT UP  
GC: 1N 4 S3D4T1V3 STUPOR 1F NOT SOPOR  
GC: T1P-TO3D 4ROUND MY TR4PS W1THOUT TR1GG3R1NG 4NY  
GC: P1CK3D UP 4 S34R1NG HOT TR4Y W1TH ON3 H4ND 4ND NO THUMB  
GC: 4ND C4RR13D 1T B4CK H3R3 W1THOUT TR1GG3R1NG 4NY TR4PS ON TH3 W4Y B4CK   
TC: YeS Ma'aM!    
GC: TH4TS TH3 DUMB3ST TH1NG 1V3 3V3R H34RD   
TC: I CoUlD ToP It.    
GC: 1 B3T YOU COULD FOR NOW 1M GO1NG TO PUT TH1S ON3 TO B3D  
GC: W1TH 3V1D3NC3!    
TC: LaY It oN Me, T! 

You get your evidence ready, check the code under the heading below, and present it with your best flourish!

* * *

** T4K3 TH4T! **  
i516c 8e42y r3kup 3987u 

  


* * *

  
[TH3 D3F3ND4NT N34TLY DODG3S TH1S S3COND P13C3 OF PROP3LL3D 3V1D3NC3]    


TC: WhOa.  
TC: I DoN'T GeT It aT AlL!    
GC: 1TS S1MPL3 G4MZ33  
GC: YOU W4NT TO T3LL M3 YOU H3LD 4 HOT TR4Y W1TH H4LF YOUR H4ND WH1L3 N4V1G4T1NG MY TR4PS  
GC: TH1S UN1CYCL3 PROV3S YOU WRONG 1N 4 S1NGL3 STROK3  
GC: B3C4US3 G4MZ33  
GC: >:] 1V3 S33N D34D BOD13S W1TH 4 B3TT3R S3NS3 OF B4L4NC3!

  


[TH3 W1TN3SS WHO H4D B33N L34N1NG FORW4RD TO H34R TH3 PROS3CUTR1X SP34K SL1PS 4ND F4LLS B4CK 1NTO H1S R3COUP3R4COON. H3 S33MS F1N3 1F T1R3D]

  
  


TC: [spits]  
TC: YoU DoN'T HaVe tO Be sO HaRsH, rEz.   
GC: >:] 1TS CUT3  
TC: YoU ThInK?   
GC: >;]  
TC: ??   
GC: 4-4NYW4Y  
GC: YOU COULDNT H4V3 34T3N MY CUPC4K3S  
GC: SOM3ON3 3LS3 H4D TO DO 1T

  


[TH3 W1TN3SS LOOKS 3XH4UST3D BUT SL4MS H1S H4ND ON TH3 SURF4C3 OF H1S SOPOR]

  
  


TC: SpIdErTrOlL!   
GC: >:] SP1D3RTROLL!   
TC: YoU BeTtEr...  
TC: Go gEt hEr, OkAy? 

Gamzee looks at you with a blank smile for a moment, before wobbling twice and falling back into unconsciousness. You grin back at him, but then reach over to tip his body so that his pained stump is safe in the sopor. No sense in letting things get worse. Gamzee curls up against the edge of the recouperacoon like a grub tucked in by their lusus, and you sneak away out of the room.

He wakes up just as you're about to close the door.

TC: ReZ?    
GC: Y34H? 

He blinks and looks about the room in confusion, before pulling back into the sopor.

TC: SoRrY I AtE YoUr cUpCaKeS.    
GC: ...  
GC: ... TH4NKS G4MZ33

 

**> Terezi: Transportalize**

Time to do some footwork.


	5. Notes on the Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some notes one what would have happened had anyone given a damn and I had continued the fic.

Because TC was a side-story to A Hand in Holding Hands and indeed set after the cutoff point, I have to be a bit cagey about details here, but I can at least solve the case of the missing cupcakes for you. I'm sure you're all on pins and needles, seeing as how this was my least well-received fic of all time. No one's even reading this, are they? I could just spoil all of Hand in Holding Hands and no one would blink. Rose falling apart with Kanaya, Nepeta's extended roleplay as Alanna of Trebond, Vriska killing Dumbledore…

After convincing Gamzee that he didn't actually steal anything, Terezi was going to march off to find Vriska, only to be intercepted by Karkat. In the process of trying to convince Karkat that Vriska totally did it, Terezi would run into Rose, who would speak concerning the events of the aHiHH chapter that would have come after the cutoff. Beyond that, Terezi would find enough evidence to convince Karkat, only for her to discover in her own arguments that Vriska might not have done it – but Sollux could have. This might seem twisty but that's only because you've never looked at a detailed summary of an Ace Attorney case. They're called Turnabouts for a reason! But when Sollux provides an alibi, further investigation pushes Terezi to one final possibility: Nepeta, who's been sick in bed. When Terezi proves she did it (big dramatic final confrontation) Nepeta apologizes, saying she just wanted to get Terezi's attention but then she fell sick and couldn't keep playing the cupcake-stealing rogue game.

Essentially, Turnabout Cupcake was my way to improve my Terezi voice and character, which had been getting complaints, and of apologizing for forgetting about Nepeta and Terezi's friendship in the original aHiHH and so to bring it back… at least in the background. You'll notice, in the new version, that Terezi just mentions that test relationship has already failed, presumably during the month they were in the game.

As a treat for anyone still reading, here's the original plot outline, including the clues and even some jokes I was planning to use.

* * *

**Confrontation 1 – Gamzee**

Gamzee asserts that he might have eaten the cupcakes because he's been so drugged he can't tell if he's been up and about or not.

Solution: The only oven mitt in the room is padded only for the left hand, which Gamzee lacks. ("Oh good, a handedness puzzle. Truly you have reached the lofty heights of Troll Encyclopaedia Brown.")

 

Gamzee then claims that he may have balanced the rack on the back of the mitt, it's not that hard. Terezi facepalms at this, as she was planning for someone to steal at least one cupcake and this would ruin her game.

Solution: She presents his unicycle to remind him that he has the sense of balance normally reserved for corpses.

 

**Confrontation 2 – Karkat**

Absorb more things into the inventory by accident to distract from the real clue. Some of these will NOT be false, and they will ALL appear to be garbage [my original note says they're ALL false - I'm not sure what I meant, unless I was referring to obfuscating the fact that Terezi has already picked up the only valuable clue: the green-stained paper towel from the hallway).

 

Karkat insists on knowing why it's so damn important for you to be scoping out the lab like a bloodhound, and tries to crush Terezi's assumption that Vriska is responsible as quickly as possible (this is largely because [CRITICAL AHIHH SPOILERS]). Terezi comes to assert that only someone that could fly could have broken into her room, but as the conversation clears out, Terezi has begun to suspect Sollux, since he could have stolen the cupcakes telepathically or by flying.

Solution 1: Karkat claims Vriska hasn’t even been out of her room. Terezi shoots this down (with evidence, not testimony. Make sure Vriska was not out to talk to Tavros – he probably won’t even be in the fic).

Solution 2: Karkat tries to claim that he was guarding the transportalizers the whole time (either come up with an excuse or have him be where she was supposed to be). Terezi shoots that down too (At the end of their conversation, Terezi grills Karkat about the where he was, and he refuses to admit. Later we’ll discover that he was spending time talking to Jade about her relationship worries re Nepeta).

Solution 3: Terezi points out that only someone who could fly could have robbed her, as they avoided her traps. She’ll have to submit other evidence to back this up, reminding Karkat that Vriska’s a dreamself in the way Ace Attorney characters forget obvious things all the time. He complains about this a bit, since it’s hard to remember that some of their friends are dreamselves when they don't use the powers, but then points out that Sollux is also a dreamself, and psychic enough to fly on his own (mention Aradia, but she uses rocket boots). Karkat insists that she deal with Sollux first.

 

**Confrontation 3 – Sollux**

[When Terezi first saw Sollux and Feferi in the room, I figured I'd make a joke about how I had been having trouble incorporating those two in the original draft of aHiHH, and how this spinoff was meant to draw focus to them and other lesser-seen characters:]

"These two! You're not sure, but if you trust your keen deductive instinct. Since these two are probably in the story the least (if by "story" you mean "life") and so you can conclude that they're very likely to be of importance in this spinoff (if by "spinoff" you mean "of the story" and the story still meaning "life" but with the disturbing implication that your antics are a spinoff of life. Actually, that's not an implication. Your keen deductive instincts tell you that that's exactly what you just said).

Whatever, these two are SUSPICIOUS, probably."

 

Terezi was also going to talk to Rose, almost entirely about the end of aHiHH Act 3 and not the case. Still, the case does come up:

Rose: Cupcakes, really?  
Terezi: Yeah! You could say they were a… [overwrought description of yet another sunglasses gag] … glutton for punishment.  
Rose: You're going with "glutton for punishment"?  
Terezi: Yes!  
Rose: Because what about that is—  
Terezi: Because I'm going to hit them with my stick!  
Rose: …That does make more sense now.  
Terezi: And then the noose.  
Rose: …  
Terezi: [tying an invisible knot] Hehehehehe.

 

Sollux is largely unwilling to even talk to Terezi, as his primary computer has exploded and he's been doing all his work on a cobbled-together backup. Terezi is stressed to find contradictions in his alibi (as he is legitimately innocent) and starts to pick apart his story about his computer exploding anyway. She finally draws a connection between the explosion and the death of a ratling tied to its ~ATH code (remember, that's how ~ATH works: when things die) and realizes that Nepeta, infamous killer of ratlings, could have snuck into her room with Rogue powers.

Solution 1: He claims he’s been doing nothing, so she proves that he is objectively wrong with the remains of his lunch just to get him talking again.

Solution 2: That is obviously not proof. She asks him to talk about lunch and he mentions he checked the computer for recipies. On a Press, he reveals that it was on another computer. As a contradiction, she points out that it’s been destroyed, and he admits that it’s his fault, but can’t prove that either.

Solution 3: He claims he has no proof because he blew his computer up. So she has him recite his code so that she can prove it blew it up, which he doesn’t believe because he doesn’t ebelieve it. Terezi, being logical, works it out. Does that work?

 

**Confrontation 4 – Equius**

The confrontation with Equius is simply a device to explain why Terezi searches the room and thus finds evidence that is later used against Nepeta. The evidence for Equius will probably be obvious.

Solution 1: Nepeta couldn’t have done it, she’s been sick and quarantined. He insists she not be disturbed. However even without "disturbing" her, Terezi reveals that Nepeta has escaped through a loosened duct and is actually gone at this very moment.

 

**Confrontation 5 – Nepeta**

Terezi was going to open the final chapter with a lunatic segue about background music. The astute will realize that yes, this was a sign that I had already planned the "Seers can see and hear Sgrub's GUI" element of aHiHH's second draft. Terezi throws in some Ghost Trick while she's at it, because Ghost Trick's awesome. "This is it! The Final Battle! The Last Desperate Struggle! Cornered 2001 Variation (2004 Remix)!"

 

Nepeta arrives while no one is there to see her do it, and proves incredibly hard to keep on topic. Terezi eventually gets her to admit the truth.

Solution 1: Nepeta insists she’s been in quarantine this whole time and that the vent was only open from before. Terezi proves that she was there by pointing out a green splashed paper towel from outside Gamzee’s room (yes, the one actually present in the fic, accidentally picked up by her irritable modus). She assumed it was soper, but now realizes that it was green mucus, perhaps verified from Kleenexes in the room. Terezi is of course even more delighted to have it flung violently out of her modus and into Nepeta's face.

Solution 2: Nepeta admits to having come visit Gamzee, and that he did see her but that he obviously wouldn’t remember it. Since Terezi doesn’t have a catalogue of unlocked grates or any other Kleenex analogues, Nepeta gets away with it when she claims that that was it. Terezi instead asks her to describe her quarantine. The slip-up lies in Equius’ prescribed diet. From her exploration of the kitchen, Terezi knows that a block of sardines was taken out of the generators or freezer. Equius is no longer entirely on Nepeta’s side now that he realizes she’s been shirking her diet and may even have stolen cupcakes on top of that.

Solution 3: [during this section, a press will have Terezi ask Nepeta if she knows where Karkat went. She does not know, and jokes that if she saw Karkitty, she would have been distracted and wouldn’t have gotten to the kitchen! Terezi then jokes that “and then he’d be sick”, provoking Nepeta’s laughter and Equius’ scorn]

Nepeta outlines her route through the lab, inadvertently claiming that she took a path through an area outside Gamzee’s room (reusing the evidence from the Karkat cross-examination where she proved that only fliers could have gotten in. Probably a smattering of flour or something in the shadow). Nepeta could have moved through the traps inside the room (bells and snares?) as the rogue, but the one outside would have been impossible to ignore for someone on the ground. Time for the big Ace Attorney Big Finale-style Series of Contradictions In A Row! Nepeta panics but then points out that if she had stolen the cupcakes, she would have had to return when Equius was home. Equius points out that he can’t see her when she’s lying down (he’s upset about her slipping off her diet), so Nepeta clarifies that he still would have seen her come out or go in. Terezi, having started to understand the answer, points out that she could have gotten away if she could put something up as cover and then escape behind it, but Equius (as established earlier) has generally flushed her inventory. Terezi counters this final point with the smudged chalk drawing, formerly of Jade, shown in one of the last few chapters of aHiHH's first draft. She realizes what wiped out the drawing (not pointed out earlier, even in aHiHH) must have been the rapid deployment of the pile covering it If that’s true, Nepeta could easily move the pile she’s next to right now to to serve as cover. That seals it.

For the finale, Nepeta admits that she stole the cupcakes to get Terezi’s attention, and apologizes for infecting them. Terezi lets her have them and admits that she made them just to be on a chase again. She asks if there was any particular reason Nepeta wanted to talk to her, and she admits that Jade hasn’t been talking to her (Equius gives a click of his tongue) and so she’s upset. She asks Terezi if she can stay, and Terezi says she’ll be right back after she’s been to the alchemizer and has set out more cupcakes as bait.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gonna be honest. I don't know if it's actually day 62 or not. I lost track of time somewhere, like an idiot, so decided to make Day 61 the big day of the preceding aHiHH chapater.
> 
> This fic rose out of the hole filled by my failed fic, _Shrapnel_. The idea behind Shrapnel was that I would post one per scheduled day of RL work completed, and I would be done in about a month and be ready to move on to the big aHiHH chapter. I failed, not for lack of work ethic but due to a _massive_ omission from the schedule. 2/3rds of that omission is accounted for and the rest will come later, complex enough that I don't want to redo the schedule. That means I wanted to put out more stuff to apologize for the continued, unending delays. Hope you enjoy!


End file.
